. .. IC Contact | Duplicity .. .

[konstant]

                                                                 

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[hippie_ninja]

In all honesty, Jesus had forgotten he'd ever mentioned Thanksgiving to K.

Though K hides it well he saw that quick intake of breath, and he realizes there's just a touch of nervousness in his friend right now. It melts away any apprehension he has about the holiday. He looks down, letting himself just feel the startling strength of affection it brings on.

"Yeah," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "I'd like that."

[konstant]

K is confident in his ability to read people, and he remembers how Jesus had reacted to even the suggestion that they could maybe try to do something here. He's sure he saw what he saw, and in the reactions of the people he's asked since he's seen similar - it'll be good for everyone, he still believes. What he's less confident in is if something may have changed since then, or if he missed something.

K had intended to lean heavily on V at the time, of course, so that's one aspect that changed - but he's watching Jesus's face until the moment he looks away, and that faint tension lifts from him on an exhale.

"Yeah?" he echoes, lips tugging. "You can invite anyone you want. I haven't given any firm details to anyone so we can still change anything, but - I was clear that no fighting will be allowed."

[hippie_ninja]

That's what brings his eyes back to K. He remembers now telling K that was why he didn't celebrate; holidays were a tense time for him, full of a lot of angry, hurting boys seeking to take it out on each other, and a lot of staff who would rather have been with their own families instead.

He reaches up to cup K's face and just kisses him, and then just keeps kissing him.

[konstant]

K hadn't bothered trying to anticipate how Jesus would react; he had hopes, of course, but he'd already decided that if Jesus balked then that was that. No harm, no foul.

This is much better. He smiles as soon as he feels Jesus's touch on his face, and leans forward into the kiss; Nibbles slides out from between them and he lets him go, shifting forward a bit to be closer, taking his time with the kiss, too.

[hippie_ninja]

"Want me to stay tonight?" he murmurs, but isn't really done kissing K yet and sets about it again, just as slow.

There's innuendo in there, but there's also not; they've spent nights where this was all they did and he's enjoying this.

[konstant]

"I do," he admits the next time they break for breath; he does want that, he wants Jesus close, he wants to know what happens next after whatever that is he saw briefly on the other man's face in the half-light of the room.

"Is that okay?" Whether they do this, or more, or less. He just wants him to stay.

[hippie_ninja]

"This is where I want to be." And he would want to be there even if K said no, even if this moment he had to pack up Nibbles and go. This is where he's wanted to be for a few days now.

[konstant]

"Then stay with me," he says, warmly; the backs of his curled fingers trail lightly along the shape of Jesus's jaw through his beard, smooth carefully around the side of his neck to cup there when he leans his forehead close.

[hippie_ninja]

This time he doesn't kiss him as long, because then he's pulling K towards the bed, urging him to sit so Jesus can straddle him and give him full attention.

[konstant]

Jesus has seen a glimpse of how strong K is; he's the only one in Duplicity, besides the guards that didn't even know K's name or his serial number, how he wouldn't be able to move K if he didn't want to be moved, if he didn't allow it.

But for Jesus, he twists and bends and settles at a touch. Jesus barely has to pull at his hand before K is following him, barely has to turn back towards him before he's sitting and reaching to rub his hands up Jesus's back, pulling him close where he settles in turn.

[hippie_ninja]

He kisses him like this for a while, until Nibbles starts scratching at the door and draws his attention away.

"How long do you have with Sara?" Before the contract runs out.

[konstant]

K calls for Nibbles to bring him away from the door, though he doesn't get up from where he is, enjoying the weight of Jesus leaned against him.

"A couple weeks. I have to go back to the Down December 1st."

[hippie_ninja]

He strokes his fingers through K's hair, studying him through the dark. "And then prison?"

[konstant]

"Two months after that."

Something has changed about how he says it though - resigned more than resolved, duller than before. He doesn't want to hurt Jesus, hurt Sara, be hurt.

He just also doesn't see a way around it.

"I don't know what else to do, sweeting."

[hippie_ninja]

"I don't either. There aren't any good solutions. But I wish there was another way." He buried his face briefly against K's hair.

[konstant]

K doesn't rush him. When he'd been sitting alone in a cell he'd found that he'd missed this, with someone he chooses to be near him anyway, with someone who chooses to be here. He strokes his fingers gently along the back of Jesus's neck and lets him stay there as long as he will.

"I do too. I wish any of this made sense."

[hippie_ninja]

He exhales softly, gathering himself, brushing his lips against K's temple. "What made it okay for you to sign with Sara?"

[konstant]

"She needed a win," is the first thing that comes out of his mouth. She'd been upset with him in prison of course, but there was nothing any of them could do about that, not without signing a formal contract; and that was... before.

After all the grief from the pit, after Donna disappearing though, K had looked at Sara and seen something different. Something he could do something about.

"And I needed... something. Some space. Some room." Some time.

[hippie_ninja]

"I wish I could give you that." He breathes in the scent of him, K's skin and his sweat and the fabric of his clothes and the tobacco. He's missed this. "I used to be really good at finding people safe places to be."

[konstant]

"My job was dangerous," he says after a moment, voice low. "I rarely closed a case without being injured in some way, and I accepted that. I accept that. I'm not afraid of pain."

He could have taken fewer risks, been hurt less, but he always wanted the replicants he tracked down to have as much of a choice as he could.

"But this place goes after something else, and it doesn't fight fair. I don't think any of this is safe."

[hippie_ninja]

"I know." This place prioritizes the sorts of relationships Jesus studiously avoided having during the fall. The type that he has consciously chosen not to pursue.

"None of it is safe. But no relationship ever is, K."

[konstant]

He knows that, of course; every relationship he's ever had was combative, except the one programmed to focus on him as the center of her entire world.

He traces the muscle along the back of Jesus's shoulder, following to where it connects to the next muscle and back again.

"Why not?" he asks, instead of pointing out what they both already know. Why can't they be?

[hippie_ninja]

Because they aren't. Because Jesus doesn't even know what one looks like.

"Would you still feel safe with me, knowing you could lose me tomorrow?"

[konstant]

It's the easiest question he could have asked.

"I already do." He already knows either of them could disappear at any time - die any time, be killed any time. He's still here.

But the fact that's Jesus's go to reveals more about him than it does about K's answer: "But you don't."

[hippie_ninja]

"I feel safe with you." Which terrifies him and makes him feel not safe. "It's complicated."

What matters is: "I want to be around you. I don't want you in prison, K, but I don't want you to sacrifice yourself to be free, either."