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From:

konstant

That's what I was thinking.

[K smiles back, relaxing a bit more.]

We'll see you tonight then.

From:

hippie_ninja

He makes dinner--nothing special, just pasta and a side of fresh broccoli. It's the middle of winter and the vegetables here are all fresh. He still isn't over that.

And he puts Nibbles in his best blue sweater, and he's nervous while he waits.

From:

konstant

Mango is wearing a sweater too, which is good because she keeps leaping face first into snowbanks as she trots along at K's feet. He's smitten, which is good because he's curious but anxious too.

He scoops her up to knock, able to hold her comfortably in one arm still, and she immediately starts wiggling excitedly and licking at the air when she sees Jesus.

K smiles, small but warm.

From:

hippie_ninja

"Hey," he croons, maybe at K and maybe at Mango, as he greets them by rubbing Mango's ears in both his hands. He ushers them inside.

"I made food." And he's set out two plates, two cups. He didn't know if K had eaten but K, by now, probably knows Jesus will always try to offer food.

"How are you?"

From:

konstant

K holds onto Mango until she's calmed down enough not to wiggle right out of his hands in her attempts to lick Jesus's face, then sets her down to let her run around to sniff every inch of carpet.

He glances at the table and his smile widens; it might be simple, but K doesn't mind at all. He's just grateful.

"Thank you," he says, earnest, and makes sure the door closes behind him.

"I'm... Good. Okay. How are you?" He's trying to resort to reading people automatically less. He's trying to be more fair.

From:

hippie_ninja

"I'm good," he echoes, but automatically, because he's nervous. He regroups and starts ladling out the pasta.

"I was talking to Vrenille a little while ago. He made me think about some things... Things that I hadn't thought to tell you about."

Nibbles hops up onto the table when Jesus turns his back to get a box.

From:

konstant

Jesus's nerves make K watchful, so he shrugs his heavy coat off and hangs it up while he watches the other man sidelong, while he reaches to greet Nibbles in turn. He murmurs something too soft and too low to interrupt what Jesus is saying, still listening while he pets the cat.

There's not a question there. There's not an invitation, really, so K glances up with interest and gives him full attention, but he doesn't interject.

From:

hippie_ninja

"I wear this sometimes," he offers the box, open to reveal the collar he sometimes throws on when he goes in to work to rile Vrenille up.

"But it matters to me that you understand some things about it, even though it's just a game I play with him."

From:

konstant

K glances down at it and it's immediately obvious that he knows something, anyway. He's noticed, certainly, and even noticed where the attention is pulled from, where Jesus's funnels. He's never been as naive as it's easy for anyone who doesn't know him well to believe he is.

That doesn't mean anything he's bothered to think or wonder isn't complicated, doesn't mean he has ever thought he'd be involved even tangentially. His eyes flick back up to Jesus's and he straightens his shoulders automatically, expression... Not wary, but cautious.

"Okay," he offers, quiet, as difficult to read as he gets.

From:

hippie_ninja

Now that he's begun he doesn't know where to go next, how to say what he wants to say.

"I want to know what you think of it."

From:

konstant

He's not trying to make this harder on Jesus, not trying to make him uncomfortable. He just isn't sure what thoughts he's supposed bto have. What those thoughts change.

So he shakes his head slowly.

"I think... It doesn't matter what I think?" he answers, startled into much more base honesty than he would normally stop at another time.

From:

hippie_ninja

"That's usually what I say when I'm uncomfortable," he says, a soft huff of a laugh. That isn't the vibe he's actually getting, though.

"It matters because I don't want you to think there's ownership in this."

From:

konstant

"There is though," K answers, not vehemently, not insistently, but a simple statement of fact. Confident the way he is that snow is cold, fire is hot, and there is ownership involved in the binding of a collar.

From:

hippie_ninja

He could argue. That's not what he's here trying to do, though. "What does that look like to you?"

From:

konstant

But K, who asks for so little and is content with less, who does not know how to view his life and those of others along the same trajectory on his own, could have been happy with pasta and broccoli and never having this discussion.

He sidesteps. "You said it's a game."

From:

hippie_ninja

"It is. It's one I feel safe playing with him because he would never actually want to own any part of me. But Vrenille worried how you'd perceive us." He studies K, looks away at Mango for a moment.

"And I realized I care about how you feel about it."

From:

konstant

Mango, of course, is laser focused on following the scent of a creature she's never encountered before even though it's all over this apartment. She trots under the table, floppy tail wagging excitedly, and completely misses that Nibbles is on the table.

K is silent, his fingers smoothing through the wrinkles natural in the cat's skin, stroking under his chin just where he likes.

"You said you feel safe. Do you... Enjoy what you get out of it?"

From:

hippie_ninja

"Yes. I do, very much." And he knows that will matter to K, whatever else he's thinking.

It's just all those unknown thoughts that worry him. "Does it change how you see me?"

From:

konstant

"No."

How could it? He's human. He's being human, enjoying being human. K can't blame him for that, for working from the knowledge and experience he's lived.

He looks down at the collar again, and when Nibbles bumps his hand for more attention, he eases back a step but looks back up to meet Jesus's eyes when he says again, "No, it doesn't."

From:

hippie_ninja

"What does it make you think?" Because he knows the way he and Vrenille see it is necessarily very different than how a replicant would.

From:

konstant

It's not. K knows this too, and would never have thought to offer any kind of opinion on it but Jesus is asking. K isn't sure why, and that occupies more of his attention than what he thinks about any of it. He glances away, taking a deep breath.

"I know it means there are rules in place. Agreements, contracts, guidelines, whatever participants have established. I don't know what yours are and that's between the two of you, but I know for most it places one in authority over the other. That the expectations are obedience or submission, and a right to consequences if those expectations are not met."

His voice is calm and even as he speaks. Impersonal.

From:

hippie_ninja

He nods, very slightly, worried. "And I know you've had stricter rules than I have. Or Vrenille has. And I know that might color how this looks to you."

From:

konstant

K trusts Vrenille. They're friends, and he cares about him, knows he's cared about in turn, has concrete examples of times Vrenille has taken extra care with him that he was not obligated to take.

But there's something deeply rooted in K that doesn't know how to definitively connect that to this situation. To this unasked question, and he's quiet a long few breaths, barely responding to Nibbles' demand for continued attention.

"Do you want me involved somehow?" he finally asks.

From:

hippie_ninja

"No. That's not what this is." He closes the little box and tucks it into one of his pockets.

"I know you've been owned before. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with this."

From:

konstant

Now, finally, K looks back at him and just looks at him, no idea what he's supposed to say here. What Jesus wants him to say besides that it's okay. That he's not uncomfortable, that he doesn't have any negative feelings about watching two people he cares about toy with a concept a bare step away from what he's been trapped in his whole life, short as it is.

He could lie. That's a thing he does now, a thing he can do.

"What about it do you enjoy?" is what he settles on, even if it is a bit more imploring than he intended.