. .. IC Contact | Duplicity .. .

[konstant]

                                                                 

You've reached the electronic inbox of KD6-3.7. 

Leave your pertinent details and I will return contact as soon as possible.

Comments

[hippie_ninja]

"Why are you sorry?" Jesus is the one who brought this up. Jesus is the one pushing, despite his own habits.

K is right; he could have just left this alone. Despite it all he's glad he hasn't.

"What does 'system' mean?"

[konstant]

The second question is much easier to answer than the first; it's familiar, known, like a steel beam hidden in the walls holding up the entire building around it.

"Baseline," he answers, low, soft, but more sure of himself than the rest of what he's been saying. "What does it feel like to be part of the system, feel it in your body, the system, do you get pleasure out of being part of the system, have they created you, is there security, is there a sound that comes with the system, is there anything in your body that wants to resist the system."

He rattles it all off in one long breath, calm, certain, by rote. System. Answer the question - which just leaves the other question, and that one is much harder.

"I'm sorry that I don't know better what to do."

[hippie_ninja]

"You're talking to me." even though he knows it's hard, even though he knows it goes against some clearly deeply embedded rules in K's mind.

"That's all I want is to talk this out. I just want to understand, and be understood. And maybe we won't get there today."

[konstant]

"It feels like a hologram," he says abruptly, realizing - remembering - that Jesus has seen the kinds of realistic displays of entirely fabricated people and animals and phenomena his city has to offer.

"I hear you, I believe you, it seems like something I could lean weight into - but like if I try, I'll go right through."

[hippie_ninja]

"I think that's something only time can change. You have to see it's real first." And even then maybe not. There are things Jesus knows he should be able to trust, and had simply never been able to.

"Give me a chance to prove it?"

[konstant]

A chance to prove something is a chance to have it used against him, too; a chance for Jesus to be right is a chance for K to be right, too. Sometimes the things Jesus has offered to teach K - to help K with - have been easy to agree to, but not this.

Still, he hasn't regretted anything he's left in Jesus's hands. He nods.

[hippie_ninja]

That's all he can really hope for. A chance; that's all he needs. "And if it comes up with Vrenille...hear what he has to say about it. His side of it. Okay?"

[konstant]

Vrenille. K hasn't forgotten, of course - it's a full half of the reason they're even having a conversation, that K hung around this long to have it - but he frowns faintly for a moment.

Then he nods again.

[hippie_ninja]

He nods, too, and steps away, goes and sits back down. "Are you okay?"

[konstant]

Mango, still trying to reach Nibbles through the door, finally barks sharply for the first time and K says her name, not sharp but firm. She drops to her stomach on the stairs, still with her nose pressed against the door, but doesn't bark again.

"What's okay?" he asks Jesus, sounding resigned, but he moves over to the chair he would have sat in if they'd just eaten instead, unfolding his arms so his hands are resting on the back of it. "I've just never... done any of this."

[hippie_ninja]

"I know." He's never done a lot of things with other people, least of all those who care about him.

"If it helps, your doing everything right."

[konstant]

It does help, he finds. The subject of trust is difficult and complex, and he's still learning where it holds strong and where it falls through regardless, but following Jesus's lead has been a good decision so far. It means he can accept the assurance from him now and whatever part of him looks to others for guidance can hear it. Can believe it.

He breathes a moment, testing that it will hold, and finally his lips quirk faintly when he looks up to meet Jesus's eyes.

"It does. I trust you." Jesus is doing things right, too.

[hippie_ninja]

He exhales a bit of tension and nods. Okay, good.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. But I'd like it if you stayed. If you want. The food really isn't that bad if you're hungry."

[konstant]

"The food smells great," he says, and it's not anything fancy, others might think K was being facetious, but he means it. It's a wonder for Jesus to have fresh vegetables in winter. It's a wonder for K to have vegetables, pasta, and water at all, and he's mindful of that always.

He sits down and pulls his own plate closer, but doesn't pick up his fork yet.

"I have something I should have told you sooner too."

[hippie_ninja]

He eats, if only to show K that it's okay now, the tension has passed. It's safe to eat.

"What is it?"

[konstant]

It's safe to eat and K is already shifting a piece of broccoli with his fingers like he typically does when investigating new foods or new versions of food, but he doesn't take any bites.

"Do you remember me mentioning deactivation as a means to control some models of replicant?"

[hippie_ninja]

"Yes," he says, frowning, already not liking where this is going.

[konstant]

"It worked in the 6s, but only a fraction of them went rogue, and the rest had to be replaced for doing nothing wrong. Customers weren't happy and it's part of why Tyrell went bankrupt."

He picks up a piece of broccoli and takes his time chewing it, not even concerned that it's mostly cold by this point.

"That and because... Wallace is Wallace," and all that entails, "They left the lifespan open ended with the 8s, and that caused all kinds of problems. The majority of the replicants I retired were 8s. So... For the 9s, they left it open to client preference. Whether there's a deactivation timeline or not."

[hippie_ninja]

"And I'm guessing they didn't tell the 9's if there was or not." Knowing you're going to die by a certain time makes people desperate.

He swallows, some of him switching over to the parts of him that have watched people die for years.

"Did they tell you if you have one?"

[konstant]

"Client preference," K answers, and does not let himself look down, does not let himself look away from how he can watch pieces of Jesus disappear from his expression.

"And no, they didn't."

[hippie_ninja]

"Then we won't know unless one day you just stop." It could be today.

He doesn't look away but he can feel how deeply K is looking at him and he reaches a hand for him, almost without thinking.

[konstant]

K hadn't been sure what he would do if Jesus reached for him earlier; now, though, it's simple. He catches up the other man's hand in his own, slides their fingers together.

He said we don't know. "There are guidelines. It won't be just one day - it's always on the manufacture date. And there are popular cycles - four years, six years, eight, twelve."

It doesn't disqualify the other years, but it helps.

[hippie_ninja]

He brings K's hand up to his lips, beard just brushing his knuckles. Thinking, thinking, then looking up at him again.

"So when would it be?"

[konstant]

Maybe it would be easier if it could just be any day; like a real girl, Joi had said, and that would be true, wouldn't it? Things happen and humans die unexpectedly all the time.

But not replicants. "My manufacture date is December 25th," he answers, rubbing the tip of his thumb over Jesus's knuckles.

[hippie_ninja]

"You didn't tell me that when you came to see me Christmas day," he says, hearing the deep hurt in his own voice, surprised and embarrassed by how cut he sounds.