He nods, first hesitant, then more firmly. Yes. That's where he went, that's where he was trapped, he's sure of it even if he can't remember every single detail - even if maybe he never will. He remembers suffocating alone in the dark, part of the system and no more, plastic and shipping gel pressing into his mouth and ears and nose and eyes, unable to even raise his hands to try to push his way back.
He wishes he could turn on a light, maybe he'd feel better, but even with just the window letting slivers in from the Down outside it's already more than he'd had there. He looks down at where her fingers are clasped around his, possessive almost, like she can keep him here with her. That's what it feels like to him: anchoring, to here and to now and to whatever version of being alive this is for him.
"I know - it's hard to understand." He's trying. He'll always try, it's not in him to stop, even if his determination is dead silent alongside most others. "Is there anything you just know is absolutely wrong? Something so... anathema to everything you are and everything you're supposed to be that no one needs it explained that it's shameful, and terrible, and pathetic?"
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Date: 2022-08-06 06:40 am (UTC)He wishes he could turn on a light, maybe he'd feel better, but even with just the window letting slivers in from the Down outside it's already more than he'd had there. He looks down at where her fingers are clasped around his, possessive almost, like she can keep him here with her. That's what it feels like to him: anchoring, to here and to now and to whatever version of being alive this is for him.
"I know - it's hard to understand." He's trying. He'll always try, it's not in him to stop, even if his determination is dead silent alongside most others. "Is there anything you just know is absolutely wrong? Something so... anathema to everything you are and everything you're supposed to be that no one needs it explained that it's shameful, and terrible, and pathetic?"